After welcoming our fourth baby into the world two months ago, my husband and I have had a lot of discussions about whether or not we feel that we are “done” having babies.
It’s such a foreign concept to me, having had a couple of surprise pregnancies that changed my life in completely wonderful ways, that we could plan such an eventful end. Family planning is such an individualized decision and for me, I’m not entirely sure that I could ever close the door on more babies. I love having a big family, and even when the arrival of our babies seemed unexpected, it always seemed like the most perfect gift once I held them in my arms. How could I ever doubt that?
I’m struggling with any decisions of whether or not we would like more children. We are both young parents and have a lot of years ahead of us where we could grow our family if we choose to do so, but it also feels like a road could be open for us to walk down for growing dreams, careers, or new experiences as well.
Not every mother wavers as much as I do. Kristel Acevedo, a fellow Disney Baby blogger, shared with me her and her husband’s recent decision to move into the next stage of their lives as a complete family of four. “Once [our daughter] Isabel was born, I just knew that was it for us,” says Kristel. “My husband and I are in full agreement that two is plenty for us. It feels like that’s the most we can handle – financially, spiritually, emotionally. We love our two blessings so very much and we feel like this is our family.”
I admit that I have somewhat of an obsession with talking to other moms about how they made the decision on how many children to have. It’s such a personal and widely varying decision. Some mothers have strict ideas about planning their families while other take a more laissez-faire approach and sometimes, the decision is simply out of our hands.
But what I’ve noticed in talking with other moms is that the decision on how many children have isn’t based on advice from a parenting book, or what your neighbors think, or how many children your mother had. It comes down to an inner voice, a feeling of what you and your partner feel is best and learning to trust yourself as a mother. As Kristel describes it, when she and her husband made the decision to be a family of four, she felt perfectly content. “We both feel really at peace with this decision,” she says.
As for me, I am still searching for the feeling of peace, and I’m not sure if I will find it until I hold just one more baby in my arms, but I look forward to what the future may hold for me and my family either way.
What about you? How did you make the decision of how many children to have?
Image : Disney Baby