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Dealing with Overly Helpful Strangers

Tired of people pestering you with silly suggestions and annoying questions?

Arm yourself with these clever comebacks and never fear busybodies again.

 

The stranger says: "Sure looks like your baby needs a nap."

Your comeback:  "Don’t we all, sweetie, don’t we all [insert yawn]!"

The stranger says: "Sooo, when are you having another? It’s great to have them close."

Your comeback: "Just as soon as this one can help me change a diaper."

The stranger says: "Hey, where’s your baby’s other sock?"

Your comeback: "Oh, we’re trying to do less laundry. So much better for the environment, eh?"

The stranger says: "Shouldn’t your baby be pulling up/crawling/on a schedule/reciting the Gettysburg Address by now?"

Your comeback: "Nah, immaturity runs in the family. You should meet her dad!"

The stranger says: "Congrats! When are you due?"

Your comeback (assuming you are not preggers): "Due home to feed the baby in this stroller right here? Soon! Gotta run!"

The stranger says: "That baby needs a hat on!"

Your comeback:  "You know, I was just telling her that. Maybe she’ll listen to you!"

The stranger says: "Time to get rid of that binky…"

Your comeback:  "Well, that’s gonna suck! Ha, ha, get it? Suck?" (At which point said stranger will realize you have an awful sense of humor and flee.)

 

The stranger says: "Sniff, sniff, I think I smell a stinky-poo!"

Your comeback:  "Oh! I guess my new perfume isn’t what it’s cracked up to be."

The stranger says: "Are you breastfeeding?"

Your comeback: "Only when we run out of Red Bull."

 

The stranger says: "That baby looks so hot in that sweater!"

Your comeback:  "You ought to see his daddy!"

The stranger says: "You should put a bow in her hair so people know she’s a girl."

Your comeback:  "Or maybe I could just have everyone take turns changing her diaper?"

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